05-26-2010
Today Mark and Debbie take questions from listeners on whether or not it’s appropriate to have a private investigator check out a future spouse, what to do if you think you are really addicted to porn and a woman wondering if she should give dating advice to her ex-husband.
He also offers wisdom (once again) to a woman whose husband is treating her badly, to another woman who is extremely negative and mean to her husband and finally, Mark plays referee for two friends arguing over their weddings.
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Tags: arranged marriage, ex-spouses, marriage, military, porn, wedding
“Kit and caboodle” (which is the most common form) dates back to the mid-eighteenth century and appeared first in England. There are a number of variants, including “kit and kerboodle” and “kit and boodle.” The “kit” part of the phrase is of fairly straightforward origin, “kit” being an 18th century English slang term for “outfit” or “collection,” as in a soldier’s “kit bag,” which contained all his worldly possessions. “Kit” may have come from “kith,” meaning “estate,” found today in the phrase “kith and kin.”
“Caboodle” is a tougher nut to crack. As usual, there are a number of theories, the most likely of which traces “boodle” back to the Dutch word “boedel,” meaning “property.” Lawyers take note: “boodle” actually was a respectable word in its own right (meaning “estate”) in the 17th and 18th centuries, and was even used in legal documents. But why “caboodle” or “kerboodle”? The “ca” and “ker” may be related to the intensive German prefix “ge,” giving the sense “the whole boodle.” Put it all together and you get “kit and caboodle,” meaning “everything and all of everything,” down to the last kitten.
Harry Schaumberg has some good resources – http://www.pureheartpuremind.com/
The addiction to porn from 4 years old often indicates sexual abuse, especially among boys. And it is extremely difficult to get the feelings of guilt being wrong and dirty that seems to become part of the identity. It broke my heart how men take responsibility for being abused as a young child.
It is not extremely difficult for the Lord to change it. But I have seen some real gems of Christians resist sin for 10 or 20 years and receive much grace and prayer to get them through. The sad thing is that there aren’t many Christian friends who are willing to stay with people struggling with addictions that long.
One thought on the women that were at odds over whose idea was what for the wedding. The interesting thing is that I pity the poor man that marries either of them. If they have to be the control freak for the weddings, then will they be control freaks in the marriage?