05-13-2010
Mark and Debbie open the show this morning with an article from The Barna Group, Teenagers Want Successful Careers and Global Travel, Expect to Delay Marriage & Parenting. Mark also shares the Life Rules for Teenagers by Charles J. Sykes. You may want to print this out and give it to your teen.
Debbie and Mark discuss what the bible says about divorce and getting remarried. Mark talks about being transparent during the dating process and explains what dying to self really means in a marriage and in your faith. A wife is upset because her husband has reenlisted in the military without listening to her.
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Here is how I would answer the question Mark asked about when does what Jesus says matter (in the area of divorce in particular). I think the context of Jesus’ words here have to do with the selfish reasons for divorce. Jesus was asked by the Pharisees about Moses allowing a certificate of divorce. Jesus said Moses allowed it because of their hearts being hard. (Mark 10) A hard heart is also a selfish heart. When Jesus answers the disciples later, it is within this context of a hard heart (ie. selfishness) The other times Jesus talks about divorce it is within the context of what Moses allowed.
With that being said:
I see marriage as two contracts. One contract is in the eyes of God and the other is in the eyes of the state. You can be divorced in the eyes of the state and still be married in the eyes of God.
If you have a couple that are professing Christians and one is sexually unfaithful, then the non-offending spouse can divorce the offending spouse. The non-offending spouse is free to remarry. The reason of sexual unfaithfulness is what breaks the covenant in the eyes of God and God permits a divorce. This is biblical grounds for believers to divorce.
If that same couple divorces for selfish reasons (my needs are not being met, I love you but not in love with you, etc) then even though the divorce is done by the state (judge at the courthouse), I think they are still married in the eyes of God. Each spouse is to remain unmarried and maybe one day they will be reconciled. However, if they do not reconcile, the one that remarries first (or is sexually involved with someone else) will be the one committing adultery in the eyes of God and the other spouse is then free to remarry.
ps. I love the show. Keep up the good work.
I do believe that because the word adultery was not used by Jesus, but painted with a much broader brush for sexual sin, that there are a lot of things that fall in the category of righteous divorce, including sexual refusal.