Scrambled Eggs

For the past few years I have been answering questions from listeners on my daily program The Mark Gungor Show. We receive a wide range of issues from people all over the world who tune in asking for advice on dating, sex, parenting, theology, in-laws…you name it, we get it. My answers are brutally honest, biblically based, common sense (which isn’t so common) and quite hilarious at times. In the many, many questions we get, one theme is extremely common: “Pastor, how can I unscramble the eggs?”

Let me explain.

A lot of dilemmas that people find themselves in stem from their own choices, actions and behaviors. Maybe they were sexually promiscuous for years, went down the path of viewing pornography and masturbating since they were teenagers, neglected their marriage and treated their spouse horribly, committed adultery, got divorced, entered into a step-family situation…the list can go on. The source or cause of the current issues and problems can be interchangeable, but the same question comes forth. They want to know how they can fix it, undo it and “make it normal”.

Most people want some magic prayer or answer as to how they can make it like it never happened. In other words, how do I unscramble the eggs that I scrambled?  They don’t like the consequences of the choices they made in the past and don’t want those consequences to impact the present or future. Here’s the hard truth: We reap what we sow. It’s in The Bible and apparently churches aren’t teaching this to their people outside of the financial context. Preachers will often use the concept in terms of money, yet fail to extrapolate it to the whole of life.

If you never pay attention to your spouse, if you have an affair, if you sleep with a dozen different people and get an STD, guess what? You reap the negative consequences. But, if you spend time with your spouse, stay faithful in your marriage, remain a virgin and live monogamously, you reap the positive consequences. Amazing how that works!

The world never talks about the ramifications of our choices. In point of fact, personal responsibility and understanding cause and effect is a rare thing in the culture of today. Hollywood makes it seem as if there are no consequences to amoral behavior and that as long as you are doing what feels good to you and makes you happy, everything will be fine. But that is a lie. What we do has a direct connection to what we get in life.

Here is where many Christians get hung up. They may have done all sorts of things prior to coming to faith, or even as a practicing believer, and they understand the concept of sin and forgiveness. So they ask God to forgive them of their sins and then expect the consequences of those sins to be erased. They misunderstand what it means to be forgiven of sin.

Before God it is as if these things had never happened. He does forgive and remove the guilt of our transgressions and makes us pure in our standing before Him. But the consequences remain for us to deal with. Please hear what I’m saying…can God do anything? Yes! He can remove every memory you have, restore any relationship, heal your mind and body of disease, and every other thing under the sun that we can ask for or need.

And I certainly can give you my best advice on how to live in the situation, deal with your circumstances, cope with the outcomes, manage the consequences and still have a good life. What I can’t do is tell you how to take it all away and make the fallout of your choices disappear because the principle of sowing and reaping always applies.

Paul writes in Galatian 6:7-8, Do not be deceived:God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.Whoever sows to please their flesh,from the flesh will reap destruction;whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”

It’s an imperative teaching that churches must pass onto their people and parents must get into their children. Yet, even though Paul warns us, it seems many Christians are deceived.

They operate under the delusion that they can scramble the eggs and then God, their pastor or some guy like me on a show can unscramble them. People think they can sow poison and destruction in their lives and that somehow there is a magic prayer to say or a magic wand to wave so they reap blessings and goodness. They want to harvest what they did not plant and think that it’s not fair to get anything less than their greatest wishes and desires. Christians think this way because they fail to understand the biblical concept of sowing and reaping, sin and its consequences.

It’s as if they are now sitting with a plate of scrambled eggs and saying, “But I don’t want my eggs scrambled. I want fried eggs. I prayed and asked God to change them into fried. Pastor Mark, make these fried for me, will you?”  And here’s the deal. You can’t unscramble them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the plate of eggs. You may prefer, fried. You may long for fried. You may look at the other people sitting at the table enjoying their fried eggs and wish that you could have what they are having. You may think it’s not fair that you get stuck with the scramble eggs. But the bottom line is they are still good eggs. You can eat them, live with them and enjoy them just the same.

It’s important to learn and teach our kids that if you want fried eggs, it’s best not scramble them in the first place.

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23 Responses to “Scrambled Eggs”

  1. Victoria says:

    AWESOME! I cannot tell you how funny it is that I just asked a different blog how to unscramble my eggs, and then I clicked on this and got my answer!

  2. Mary Jose says:

    How true are God’s words that if we sow to our flesh we reap the consequenses of dishonor and destruction. How many times people have fallen and yet we never seem to learn!

  3. Jacinthe says:

    My husband and I have been saying this for years and no one seems to understand. They think we don`t have enough faith, that we don`t believe God can work miracles.
    It`s so not the point. For every action, there is a reaction. Learn from it. When our ”egg`s are scrambled” I believe God allows it to teach us something.

    We teach our children this daily and we let them deal with their consequences so that they in turn understand that
    good decisions = positive outcomes and
    bad decisions = consequences

    Too often, children are shielded by their parents in these area`s and when they grow up, they become horrible people and dealing with ”Scrambled egg`s”.

  4. Cheryl Collins says:

    I love what I have read about unscrambling eggs. I also love the idea of humor for helping marriages. My husband and I have had a rocky marriage for a while now, yet we keep trying… He is an alcoholic who goes on and off the wagon, smokes cigareetes, recently quit pot for the 10th time. I am learning to let go, and not obsess about him and his behavior, but it is very difficult for me. So difficult I feel it’s a sin(to worry, be jealous, etc) I think the fact that I am looking at my reactions as sinful is helping me to overcome my worries, reafs, obsession of him and what is he doing.

    • Teresa says:

      Hi Cheryl, I am very worried about you after reading your comment above. A healthy reaction to the behaviors you have described your husband as having would be horror and righteous anger. He should not be putting you through all of this. It is not a sin to worry, not a sin to be upset with him, not a sin to be angry with him!
      Cheryl, do you have kids in the picture? This man should not be any where near them, or you, until he gets his act cleaned up. You may be mistakenly enabling him to continue his sinful and manipulative behavior. Please seek professional help and pray to the Lord for guidance in how, by being a firm woman of faith, you can stop enabling him and begin to urge him to live up to his vocation as a man! Even if that means you need to separate yourself from him for a time.

  5. Amanda Richards says:

    I think what makes your teachings so funny is that we all know how true they are. How I wish I could go back in time and give my younger self a couple of your DVD’s (and pre-emptive slaps for future bad decisions). But that aside, I’ve learnt to live with my scrambled eggs, discovering that they can actually be quite tasty with some salt added. At the very least, I can look back on my mistakes and failures and embrace the person God has made me through them. Would I have preferred not going through them? Absolutely. Do I resent going through them? Not at all. For me life has been an exciting journey and I appreciate every step of it, even when the paths I’ve taken have resulted in some unnecessary and painful lessons.

  6. Lin says:

    I have been so grateful – especially these last few months – that my parents drilled this lesson into my head when I was young. It has not been easy to wait 30 years, but I have not “scrambled my eggs”. I have met an amazing man; we are getting married next fall; and I have no big sad secrets to tell him, no enormous debt, no addictions, no baggage from past partners, no scrambled eggs to bring into the marriage. My parents did their job very well, and I am so thankful.

  7. Flavia says:

    I like every content on the website and audios/videos. A christian touch od marital counsel that is so real and practical (fit to be on earth just before we go to heaven). Keep it up.

  8. Mandy says:

    This is so true am so amazed!I agree 100% with this which doesn’t mean that I have not scrambled my eggs some times myself!!!!

  9. PATTY LOHREY says:

    One of the BEST explainations that I have ever read/heard. Thank you, Mark, for the incredible insight and the courage to share the truth!!! May God continue to use you to encourage and grow people in their marriages and relationships!!
    God Bless!

  10. Torry Zupke says:

    My wife and I absolutely love you and enjoy
    Everything you teach! Rock on, and I prefer
    My eggs over easy…amen.

  11. Nan McFerren says:

    i have been trained in Elijah House Christian prayer ministry. the concept of sowing & reaping is one of the first things we are taught and that we teach. it is often hard for a person (me, too, when i started) to understand that God loves you, isn’t afraid of your mistakes, forgives you and can/will restore what you have lost in ways that are dazzling BUT that there are consequences of living outside of God’s law. He isn’t mad at you & He’ll help but the consequences are there no matter what. we use the example of gravity: it doesn’t matter if you believe in it or if you like, the law of gravity applies of everyone, no matter what, and we all have to deal with it.

  12. Judy says:

    Right ON! We do reap what we sow, you can’t get carrots if you plant radishes. God’s word tells us how to live our life, and if we follow it, we will have a good life, Proverbs is full of advice on how we should do. Life does come with an instruction manuel. It’s called The Bible. I hear many parents say, Babies don’t come with an instruction manuel, Yes they do,It’s called The Bible. Proverbs 22:6 states: “Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.”
    It’s according to the way FOR him, not according to the way the boys wants to go.
    and Ephesias 6:1 states: “1Children, be obedient to ​YOUR​ parents in union with [the] Lord, for this is righteous:2“Honor your father and [your] mother”; which is the first command with a promise” This command does not come with an age limit.
    In Proverbs, it says, Children obey your parents, No where does it say Parents, Obey your children.
    Parents have got to stop obeying their children. If they do, they reap what they sow, children who are disobedient, disrespectful and think the world owe them a living. Parents have got to start to say NO, that is a response, even God says no at times to prayers.
    Okay this is a little long, but in today’s promisuous society, someone has to say no, and if it God, then listen to him, He has our best interest at heart, he created us, he knows what it takes to make us happy. If we sow obedience, we will reap blessings.

  13. Sheri says:

    As a small child attending a Baptist church I heard more than one pastor tell of giving your life to Jesus and everything would be alright. In my imagination I saw God with a magic wand who could do anything. Because I was a believer I just waited for God to show up with his special touch. It never happened and it has taken me a lifetime to understand God’s word. Thank you for opening up the scriptures like no one else ever did.

  14. Sherri says:

    Excellent article. I appreciate your Biblical perspective and the hope you offered at the end- that “scrambled eggs” can still be enjoyed. While God doesn’t change the consequences, He does redeem them! :)

  15. Judy Kaufman says:

    Thank you for this article. This why I enjoy your ministry and your newsletter. Many in the church have not been taught correctly about the law of sowing and reaping. I thank God for people like you who teach the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Blessings to you. Keep up the good work.

  16. Carolyn says:

    A lot of wisdom in “scrambled eggs”…following His Truth is definitely better than the consequences…His love, grace & forgiveness have made such a difference in my life…this is the kind of teaching that is needed; some pain, loss, scars always remain when we go our own way instead of His.

  17. Julie says:

    How does a mate begin to trust again after finding out about their partners “egg scrambling” for the 1st 20 years of their marriage? The egg cooking has stopped but he doesn’t want to accept that the consequences of his actions has caused me to not trust him. I want to believe what he says, but its really hard. I’m always looking to prove that he’s still scrambling his eggs. And honestly I WANT to trust him… I get frustrated with myself for being so suspicious!
    any suggestions???

  18. Norm says:

    Hey Mark,I follow a few atheist blogs on the Patheos site to argue the Christian perspective and often come across people ,and sometimes ex-Christians who say they carnt believe in a God who supposively can do anything but wont fix my,and the worlds problems so therefore doesnt exist.Its almost like they are going to punish God for not doing what He should.He,by the way should also not interfere in my life,I should have the choice to have an abortion,homosexual relationship ect if I choose,but He should put a stop to other peoples sins.Its all telling God how to run the world from mans limited understanding and we do the same things in our own relationships.

  19. Jeanene says:

    Wow.. It’s as if my husband wrote this :-) I’m going to share your thoughts on my FB page so my kids can see their dad isn’t the only one who thinks like this :-) Thanks for the great Title.. I think it will make for a useful name for the messes my kids might try to get into, though, thankfully, we’ve had it pretty tame from the 5 of them, so far :-) We call our lessons “blessings” and “cursings”… as in, you can choose to do what will Bless your life, or you can make choices that bring ‘Cursings’ into your life.. The consequences are yours to choose, just know ahead of time what you are choosing to bring into your life. And it’s always handy to have people’s lives that show a blessed life, or a cursed life, to give as examples to your kids :-)

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