I watched a video of your marriage seminar with one of my friends as a part of our Bible study. When we got to the part about sex, we were shocked that you were recommending people wear two condoms if they were using them at all. I am a firm believer in sex after marriage, but you cannot tell people to double up on condoms. The latex rubs against each other and is much more likely to tear. Essentially, the concept of “double bagging” does not apply here. Counterintuitive, I know, but please make sure that you are giving people correct information regarding condom usage.
My dearest Anna,
Perhaps you missed the title to the DVD series you were watching: “LAUGH Your Way to a Better Marriage”.
Please permit me to explain humor to you:
TRUTH plus EXAGGERATION with SURPRISE = humor
Allow me to dissect the portion of which you are in reference…
The TRUTH is that sex outside of marriage is a bad thing and that condoms are miserable little devices that do not contribute to great sex and that they are unreliable anyway.
The EXAGGERATION is that people who use condoms (since they are unreliable anyway) should wear more than one.
The SURPRISE is that it is like “double bagging” at the grocery store.
The result, of course, is humor, which I believe is rather evident on the DVD by the explosive laughter from the audience.
I am not trying to give people the “correct information regarding condom usage.” I am trying to discourage people from having sex outside of marriage, saving them from having to use stupid condoms at all.
Another example would be when, in an attempt to explain the physical drain on mothers with small children and how it affects their sex drives, I suggested that men “hang a couple of monkeys from their testicles and see how they feel at the end of the day.” I don’t literally mean men should hang monkeys from their testicles. I am not even sure where one would go to find a testicle hanging monkey.
Relax a bit more and when listening to me, try not to be so literal.
Sorry if this offends Anna or anyone else, but I gotta ask…how does she know that using two condoms does not work? Oh Please tell me that she did not try this!
Omgoshhhhh I just watched part of this series tonight,and this man absolutely cracked me up! comparing how a man and a woman think was sooo on target! the condon part he was talking about was having sex with someone with a condom is like not having sex at all. saying “its like licking a icecream cone with a sock on your tongue! LOL its just not the same as without one. he also said if you have sex and your not married,,and alot these days have muliple partners, then yes you need to wear a condon maybe 2 or 3.. like double bagging at a store.stating this in a comical way! Lighten up people. watch the series. he has us understand how and why woman think and act the way they do and the same for men. Tooo Funny!
I have not laughed so hard in many days. I thank Anna and you, Mark, for the outlet! I think you both just sold a DVD and started a new fad. No, no, not double bagging – a new fad of searching for appropriately sized and talented monkeys.
I personally don’t believe in condoms and birth control. The only reason is… is because I got pregnant while using birth control and A condom. I think that if God wants you to have a baby then there is nothing that you can do to prevent it. This is just how I feel about it from personal experience.
I saw the entire video series and nothing, with this speaker, can be more dangerous than to take anything out of context! You must hear the voice, tone, see the look on his face and hear his “voices” before you can judge his statements. The words alone only tell half the story. But it is his total package that makes him what he is – one God blessed speaker! Great message!
Listening to Mark you have to really understand intent. Sex outside of marriage is what he is against. In his response to Anna and saying condoms don’t work, Mark is not saying condoms don’t work at all. It is the idea that sex out side of marriage is the problem and that is when you use condoms. Sex out side of marriage doesn’t work. Thus condoms don’t work. I am sure condoms eliminate risk. Just don’t take the risk. I guess you could compare it to Bungy jumping. Sure beats jumping off a bridge without it. Although there are injuries with bungy jumping. Cord Breaks, Line is to long, etc…
Most people just don’t bungy jump.
(When he says that condoms are “miserable little devices” that are “stupid” and “unreliable”.)
If you insist on making this literal and refuse to except it in a joking manner.Put yourself in the position of unmarried about to have sex couple, that should not be having sex in the first place as this is “SIN” and not good for a true and Loving realtionship. For those of us who believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Mark is trying to discourage people from having sex outside of marriage at all, saving them from having to use stupid condoms at all.
Marriage is a sexual contract. So if you don’t want kids even condoms and birth control don’t garuntee you from not getting pregnant. Because this is a christian forum, the result of a pregnancy would be prolife argument. So the only way to avoid children would be to not have sex. At that point if you really don’t want kids you don’t have sex. Let me repeat, Marriage (at the roots of it) is a sexual contract. So if both partners can’t come close on how much sex to you will have before you are married then don’t get married to that person.
Also, allowing monkeys *access* to your testicles is, at the very least, a concept foreign to marriage— and it’s dangerous on a physical front, too.
My wife would stomp the monkey into monkey pulp, methinks. Likely, I’d be next.
Incidentally, I thought about trying ice cream whilst wearing a sock on my tongue, but it just seemed like it wasn’t gonna work….
OK, Mark’s talking about *sexual exclusivity in marriage*. (I won’t ruin the video for those who haven’t seen it by explaining the context for that, but it is AWESOME). His points, summarized, are these:
1. “Authorities” tell people they can have sex with whoever they want.
2. “Authorities” tell people if they do this, they should use a condom.
3. The “Authorities” are wrong. God’s way is monogamous marriage. A condom isn’t necessary if the people are married. (This is not a statement about birth control, it’s a statement about the stupidity of extra-marital sex).
4. Not only this, but it doesn’t feel as good with a condom. So, why use one, if you’re doing it *RIGHT* (see #3).
5. Now, if you’re gonna listen to the “Authorities” and shag random people, you should use a condom. No, use more than one……..
and *THAT* is the funny statement.
Mark, love your humor.
Kathryn Troll says:
What I have heard is that condoms have to be stored appropriatly to work right. How are they shipped? How long are they stored before they get to their destination? In shippping, do they get very cold, then very hot, etc? Also, those little STD’s virus’ & sperms don’t need much room to slip out or over or through a hole that can’t be seen to do what they do. Also, committed to one person in marriage: no worries!!!!! When I donate blood, they are VERY particular about our sex life, they ask the most intimate questions “sex just once: with or without” with a high risk person will elimitate you from donating. Condoms in this situation? Sorry, but we don’t want your blood. Too risky!!! I think that says it all.
Kathryn Troll says:
One more thought: I saw the whole series & bought it. He communicated in such a way that “I got it” & understood in a great way. I love the humor, it helps with very sensitive issues. Thanks!!!!
Mark, you are hilarious! It is unfortunate that some are taking this so seriously and are not appreciating the humor in this. Thanks, Mark.
Sorry for the firestorm about condoms! I’m a 60 year old pastor that uses your materials & teaching a lot in our church ministry to marriages and pre-marriage counseling.Thanks for all you & yours do for the Body of Christ and the world!
I appreciate the website and emails.
We have used “Laugh Your Way” in our small group two different times. It is an AMAZING series. In fact, it’s one of the few that the men were EXCITED to attend.
When the “Manly Man” conference came out on DVD, my husband (who would have never dreamed of facilitating a class) snatched it up right away & started a men’s Sunday School class. God used that class to bring so many men who would never/rarely attend Sunday School to church! One gentleman was even saved in our church because he came for that Sunday School class.
Yes, some of the things Mark says makes you cringe (basically the women), but his material is good. The way he presents the material makes men “get it,” and want more.
How many other marriage conferences, videos, studies can vouche for that?
Please don’t criticize Mark for something you haven’t seen/heard first hand.
Mark, thank you for all you do to enrich our lives through your humor and teachings. It’s unfortunate when someone becomes offended and argumentative about how you get your points across. My husband and I personally enjoy your humor as do so many we share our DVD series with. Marriage is a delicate subject these days and so many are in great need of help. Keep up the good work and don’t take personal those that misunderstand.
Mark, My wife and I are part of the marriage ministry at our church and anyone who has seen your video has got it. So, we appreciate your humor and it’s spot on as well. But to address the point about sex before marriage is that, not only does God NOT condone it but just the simple fact that those of you who teach PROPER condom use (even condom use at all) are condoning sex before marriage. The other simple fact that sex BEFORE marriage has dire consequences in on many different levels. The first one I can think of is promoting the idea so many of our young people have adopted of test driving the person to see if you are even compatible. This is a ludicrous idea. We are people with feelings and emotions not a car as some would make reference to. When we think like this we,at the very least, make light of who God has created us to be, (HOLY). That is, set apart for HIS work not our own. Some of you might think this a bit deep, but in fact, it is not a far cry from the way most people think.
Yes people Christians can have a sense of humor. Thanks for sharing Anna’s email so we can have yet another example. Your answer is too funny and so true too.
DDale Swackhammer says:
I LOVE the insights that you have shared for helping people to heal their marriage. They have been EXTREMELY helpful in understanding my own relationships. Humour is a great memory tool (my adoptive country is Fun Country) so I am able to retain a lot of what you have taught. Good for me, bad for my husband
Keep up the great work. You have been a blessing to me and I am learning so much.
Laughing aloud over Anna’s letter and even more over some of the following posts… Clearly, the world is full of folks who need to relax and laugh more.
You’re great, Mark. Kudos to you.
Wonderful website !! Extremely informative, even with humor !!(smiles) This is just what the Body of Christ needs. Would love to see your live seminar in So. Calif.
Mark we love you. and right now I’m going into my nothing box.
I agree, Mark! Relax and enjoy the humor!!! I never understood why condoms are promoted for “safe sex” anyhow. The failure rate is around 15 months, which I can attest to as having had four children with an average of 15 months between them! Also, as far as “safe” goes, who are we kidding? A virus is 10 times smaller than a sperm, so do the math! If you can plan on being pregnant is around 15 months, shouldn’t you also expect to be infected in about the same amount of time? Reserve yourself for marriage and preserve your health and well being as well! Thanks for all you do Mark, you are a blessing to us all!
hi, Iam a muslim Egyptian girl and i loved the way u say the right things in funny way to make people understand, iam 23 years old and in my society iam still a little girl, and we ( the majority of my age)don’t have sex outside marriage even with our fiances which is very great and awesome and protective, i don’t want to make it long for u , but i wanted to thank you because you made me understand a little about what is going on in my fiance’s brain at the women Vs men show, i understood alot and i’ll try to make thing better now.
First, I don’t mean to brag when I tell you my husband and I have been to dozens of marriage seminars, workshops, study groups, and we have read tons of books on marriage.
You’re a genius! And you have all the right to have an opinion about condoms! I personally, hate them and wish they stopped educating our kids at school on this topic.
wow, what a stir!
There are many of us who “get” Mark’s common sense explanations, I have heard the double bagging joke for years. If you don’t get it, you probably don’t have the common sense to understand his point of view anyway. So keep having your condom coated sex outside of marriage. Sex makes you stupid is true, you guys are proving it. My married sex without a condom is wonderful and I am stupid in love with my husband of 21 years!
shy girl says:
Condomns hmm. I AM married and sometimes use this form of contraception as my husband and I do not wish to have any children at this time, but my husband has told me that this method is not as enjoyable as the more ‘natural’ method and I think that this is what Mark was expressing in his talks. By the way, I think it is nearly impossible to be a speaker and not offend someone or make a factual mistake – especially when you’re a comedial type of personality.
Shy girl says:
The point here is that Marks angle is, if one does not involve themselves in pre-marital sex and they marry someone else who hasn’t had pre-marital sex then there is no real need for protective sex in marriage.
His opinion is, is that condoms are “stupid” and not as fulfilling. So in his opinion, what’s the point of using them?
Although, I agree that he should be more accurate in addressing their use if he’s going to mention them, as some people may actually take his advice on it not realising that it was intended as a joke.
I am a married christian and we use condoms in our relationship for birth control as I am tired of being responsible for birth control as a woman, and he isn’t interested in a vasectomy, so that’s our compromise and our choice.
When I heard Marks comment on condoms on the dvd I just took it as a grain of salt, but having read Anna’s email I am now more informed. So thanks Anna for pointing it out (not that we double-bagged) but its good to know.
But Mark is a funny guy and we thoroughly enjoy his material.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MARK!!!
I just wanted to say thanks, I love your page, the seminars are awesome, my fiance and I attended the Laugh your way to a better marriage in Modesto, CA @ Big Valley Grace, and you made us laugh so much.
Thanks to your humor I was able to better understand my soon to be husband a bit more. He also has been able to understand me more. I really hope you can come do a follow up part 2 of Laugh your way to a better marriage. And for the people who don’t understand you’re humor, I say: “they should stay home lol.” I really enjoyed the entire thing, especially the part where we read the I’m sorry statements, I never knew how much I had built up inside and that helped me release all my negative thoughts.
Thanks and hope you come out here soon.
Sonia Norris says:
I just love your Laugh your way to a better marriage series. That’s why I purchased quite a few of your DVD’s and tapes. You have help my marriage a great deal. My husband and I now relate to each other better. Before we thought we were from different planets and not he from mars and me from venus. I am from Barbados and knowing that people from different countries share the same problems in marriage has helped us to see our own issues differently. You have helped us tremendously and I pray God’s continued blessings upon you, your ministry and your ministry team. My husband and I shall be inviting you to Barbados in the future. Please make a note of my name so that when I contact you, it would not be a surprise. God Bless.
Mike & Jo says:
We really liked your response to the letter from Anna, and love your suggestion about men hanging monkeys. We think the game “Barrel of Monkeys” would do the trick! LOL
Anna…you neet to relax…A LOT!! It’s supposed to be funny, a joke. Watch and listen carefully before you make such comments. I recently watched the video for the first time at our church, could not believe it was going to be this much fun! Thank you Mark for existing, thank you LORD for blessing this man in this way.